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11 Things A Man Should Never Say To You

Saturday, 7 August 2010 Leave a Comment

“She’s just a friend.”
- Yeah right we know your lying pal.

“It’s not you, its me.”
- Ah that old chestnut. Grow a pair man and give us the real reason.

“What? The waitress was hot.”
- Its one thing him commenting on how hot Angelina Jolie looks, because chances are he will never meet her, but to say that about someone who lives among us, in the real world. Just don't do it OK!

“You remind me of my/your mother’”
- Oh no he didn't!!! Take it back.

“My ex would never do that.”
- That’s nice dear, why don't you just run back off to her then before we break your face.

“Stop nagging me.”
- This one gets my back up, it's the thing all guys say when you ask them to do even the smallest task. Here’s a hint guys if you do it the first time we asked we wouldn't have to nag.

“I liked your hair the way it was.”
- Great you've just spent 3 hours in a salon that stunk like bleach, answering stupid questions about where you're going on holiday this year, just to get the perfect hair for your date and all they can say is this. Well we'll have the last laugh when you start going bald!

“Is it that time of the month again?”
- Possibly the most insulting phrase ever muttered. We're just angry, don't you dare blame our hormones you Neanderthal.

(He sighs) “Women.”
- Urgh. Don't generalise us.

“Whatever, i don't mind, its up to you.”
- We like our men to take control once in a while, stop being a weakling and make a decision.

“I'm a man i have needs.”
- You know, you should try thinking with your brain instead of your pants, then you might get somewhere.

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  • dating diva said:  

    Great list ;)



  • Lilly said:  

    Oh my god this was hilarious!!! I love your sense of humor!! It's so bitterly sarcastic--I loooooove it.

    I can't wait to call my next boyfriend a muppet and a neanderthal and tell him that he is going to go bald at 40. WIN!!

  • Alice X said:  

    hahaha thanks Lilly. I loved your blog too, so funny, it's gone straight on my reading list.

    Well if you ever here any of these things come out of his mouth he's definitely a muppet!

  • Mademoiselle Hautemess said:  

    Hear Hear! I couldn't agree more! But I would like to add one more to the list... Begging for sex. I can't think of anything less sexy than a grown ass man using a whiny child voice to say "Pretty Puh-Lease!" I want to fuck a man...not a baby boy!

  • Alice X said:  

    Totally agree! I was kind of hinting at that in the last one on the list. Whiney men are not attractive. Trust us guys if we wanted to you wouldn't have to beg lol.

    Thanks for taking the time to read my post, i loved your blog, so funny.

  • Jewels said:  

    great list! I laughed at most of them and then agreed and got pretty pissy at others. I can't stand a man who can't make up his mind or take charge. I have never had somebody tell me I remind them of their mother...I'd freak out if they did though!

  • Alice X said:  

    @Jewels Thanks, there's two on their that really make me mad, the hair one and the time of the month. Why do guys have to mention 'that time'? So enraging!

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