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Bite Me

Saturday, 28 August 2010 Leave a Comment


Photo credit: jdurham from morguefile.com


Yesterday i bumped into an old friend, let's call her Purple Neck. She'd either got a bit frisky with the Dyson, been attacked by Vampires (in which case, i would ask her to kindly point me in the direction of Edward Cullen), or she was playing rough with her fancy boy. I guessed the latter was true. I thought once you reached 15 your days of being covered in hickies were over. Apparently not. I mean she's in her 20's for Christmas sake!


Love bite, hickey, love stamp, whatever you want to call them. It appears that almost nothing will stop this face sucking, loved up branding ritual. We've all been there done that, got the huge, ugly bruises to prove it. So what's the point? We all try to conceal them, apart from Purple Neck who seemed to flaunt hers like badges of honour, but to me it just looks disgusting. I admit there was one time when i had my own little love bite collection going on, but i kept my shame well and truly hidden.

I guess it's fine in the Winter when polo necks and scarves are the norm, but in the summer you're gonna sweat like Paris Hilton in a pub quiz. Truthfully, is it really worth piling on the layers of woolly garments just so Granny won't ask how you managed to get a bruise the size of China on your neck? No one wants to have that conversation.

Maybe some guys want to temporarily brand their girlfriends as a warning to other guys in a "Hands off, she's taken," kinda way. I don't care how possessive you are, if you really think about it, they're caused by burst blood vessels.... and that's just gross. Whatever the reason behind this crazy love fetish, you can count me out. No leech is getting near my jugular! This is one tradition that just doesn't float my boat. I can confidently say my love biting days are over. Besides bruises just don't suit my skin tone.

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9 comments »

  • 20somethingbritchick said:  

    I couldn't agree more! I was once with a guy who literally bit my neck, it wasn't a romantic kiss style love bite but an actualy *chomp!* bite. I think he almost drew blood and I nearly burst into tears it was that painful.

    I think that one liked it rough...

    - Lora x

  • Alice X said:  

    Oh no, that sounds horrendous! Some people have no control

  • Lilly said:  

    Hickeys are sooo gross!! If a guy wants to show that his girl is taken he should buy her diamonds! Furthermore, hickeys aren't a clear statement that you're taken. Most of the time you just look like a skanky ho. No offense to your friend. But yeah, I agree - hickeys are bad bad bad.

  • Hotcakes said:  

    i remember one day when my ex co-worker (who happened to be a college friend of mine too)... reminded me of her interview day at our company. lol... she spotted a hiki on my chest and she keeps on reminding me about it.

    i dont remember how i got it anyway.

  • Hotcakes said:  

    alice, i love your blog and it's idea. thats why i made a post about it and gave an award it too :)

    http://imissyouhotcakes.blogspot.com/2010/08/82-substance-over-style.html

  • Alice X said:  

    @Lilly I'm with you diamonds are way better, mind you if i found a guy who would give me diamonds i may just let him give me little hickey as a reward. No offense taken, she's an old friend for a reason :)

  • Alice X said:  

    @Hotcakes Oh my giddy aunt my first award whoop! What do i do? I have no idea how these things work! Thanks so much, i love your blog too :)

  • Queen of the Rant said:  

    I HATE HICKEYS and I do not know why anyone would want one unless you were 12. I see people working with them and it just makes me want to go to another store lol

  • Alice X said:  

    @Queen of the Rant
    Me too, i think it can look really tacky on girls who are not in their teens

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