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Chat Up Lines: Do They Ever Work?

Sunday, 24 October 2010 Leave a Comment

So you're in a bar, having a quiet drink with your friends when a guy approaches you, he's your perfect type, tall, blond and a jawline that would make male models weep with jealousy. You're already imagining him in his underwear... and then he goes and opens his mouth, "Can i take a photo of you so i can show Santa what i want for Christmas?"

The cheesy chat up line strikes again! It's bad enough to use a chat up line at all, but to mention the Christmas legend that is Santa?! That's just creepy. Sorry hunk, but the only thing you'll be unwrapping is a Turkey dinner for one.

Why do guys do this? They rarely work, and hearing some man cheapen your worth with some smutty, and mildly insulting one liner, doesn't exactly make you want to "Get your coat, because you've pulled."

I say stop with the old cliched chat up lines and lets start being original. How about you just be honest? "I think your pretty so i came over to say hi." That's refreshing! Or if you must use a line, please make it useful. How about..."Hi I'm Dave, I'm broke, i live with my Mum and i like to eat left over pizza after a night out," at least then we can we can cross you off the list of eligible bachelors.

As for us girlie's, here's some comebacks i have devised to get rid of these cheesy wordsmiths:

"Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in those eyes."
Comeback: If my eyes are telling you to get lost, I'd take the hint.

"Just call me milk, ill do your body good."
Comeback: I'm lactose intolerant

"Do you come here often?"
Comeback: Not anymore

"If you were a burger you'd be McGorgeous."
Comeback: Well if you were a milkshake you'd be a McSleazy

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Comeback: About as much as it will when i kick you in the balls

"Do you believe in love at first site or should i walk by again?"
Comeback: Yeah but this time keep walking pal

"Where have you been all my life?"
Comeback: Out of your league

"I'd like to see more of you."
Comeback: I'll let you know when i gain 20 lbs

What's the worst, funniest or cheesiest line you've ever heard? Have you ever used one? Are you Pro Chat up lines?

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  • ramblingsofasingleton said:  

    Those come backs are hilarious - trying to memorize them for future use! I wrote a similar post over on my blog today; there's a few other gems there not listed above. Have never heard the Santa one before! But, yes, I agree ... if a chat-up line is a necessity, a little bit of honesty would be refreshing --- that said, if I guy came over and told me I was pretty, I think I'd still consider it a cheesy line. But then, maybe I'm just a cynic!

  • Alice X said:  

    Thanks so much! I love to hear some great feedback, you've made my day. I sent you an email earlier today about a post you asked about a while ago, sorry i took so long (memory like a fish).

    More cynical than me? wow i've met my my match :) I'll check out your post now.

  • Denise said:  

    hahaha, out of your league...

  • Sunny & Star said:  

    Love this post. So funny. Made me laugh several times which is a great thing especially when the work day is winding down and I'm just counting the minutes until it is time to get out of here.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Denise i'm happy i made you laugh :)

    @Sunny & Star Hey thanks so much, i know that feeling! Glad i made your last minutes of work a little more passable.

  • Cinderita said:  

    I love the comeback for "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven". LOL LOL! Fantastic!

    Best line I've ever heard and the guy turned out to be a really good one, just not a keeper, although I can't really remember what happened to him..hmm..it's possible I left him where I found him. But regardless the line he used?

    "Do you just stand around and look good or do you dance too?" Loved it!!! Good dancer too!

  • Paige said:  

    mahahahahahahaha. this post is my new bible

  • Alice X said:  

    @Cinderita Thanks, Oh no he could still be there waiting for the last dance :p

    @Paige haha thanks it took me a while to come up with those comebacks!

  • Lizzie said:  

    I love this. I will definitely use the "out of your league" one. I used to get, "Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day." PLEASE.

  • Heather said:  

    Hahaha these are so funny! Why can't people just say "Hello" any more?!

  • Mademoiselle Deva said:  

    hahaha hilarious! out of your league! so funny!

  • Riff Dog said:  

    Hey! You stole my "Top 8 Guaranteed to Work Every Time Lines!" Damn. Now how am I going to meat gurlz?


  • Alice X said:  

    @Riff Dog I'm terribly sorry, bu maybe it's for the best. :P

    "meat" hahaha

  • Falaxy said:  

    the worse i've heard:
    Is your dad a terrorist? Coz you're the bomb!


  • Chunky Knubby Navel said:  

    They call me coffee because I grind so fine!



  • Alice X said:  

    @Falaxy That is a bad one, especially with all the drama surrounding that topic, it's not the best way to snag a date.

    @Chunky Knubby Navel ahahaha is it completely wrong that i found that funny? :D

  • A Chicago Blogger said:  

    "Where have you been all my life?"
    Comeback: Out of you're league

    HAHA! Love it! Funny post!

  • Alice X said:  

    @ Chicago Blogger Thanking you!

  • MissEmy said:  

    Loved reading these, Alice! I never know what to say in response but you've given me some good ideas. :D

  • Alice X said:  

    @MissEmy Glad to be of assistance :)

  • Chaplain Donna said:  

    Hi I stopped by your blog because it was promoted on Thank Q. You are his 50th follower. Great blog you have here!

  • Alice X said:  

    @Chaplain Donna Thank you for visiting my humble blog! I'll be stopping by yours!

  • Cassie said:  

    Oh man, some of these are nice. I've never been the recipient of a pick-up line. I just realized that kind of sounds bad, but I like to think it means I seem intimidating to guys. ;) I don't think I'd be able to respond cleverly to a line as bad as any of these-- I'd be too busy laughing in a guy's face!

  • Alice X said:  

    @Cassie thanks for commenting! It's not a bad thing, trust me. Being serenaded by one of these cheesy lines will only end in comedy!

  • Sandra said:  

    Fantastic! The thing is though, it's been so long since I've heard a pick-up line, I would be giddy with delight.
    Twenty years ago, a total stranger came up to me and said, "Did you get hurt?" and I was like, "What?" "Did you get hurt when you fell from heaven?" At the time I thought he was an idiot. Now I'm hoping to bump into the guy again.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Sandra Thanks! I know what you mean, the older you get the more flattering it seems doesn't it? I hope you bump into him again sometime.

  • reni said:  

    i love it! thanks, this made my day!

  • Green Card Lottery said:  

    Thank you for sharing your experience.

  • EmDottie said:  

    HA! Those comeback lines are hilarious.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Green Card Lottery You're very welcome dear x

    @EmDottie Thanks so much, glad i could make you giggle :)

  • Terez W. said:  

    Alice your post is both hilarious and so full of truth! Honestly, I don't know why guys use such ridiculous pick up lines. It's true that conversation is an art lost on quite a few. That is why when a guy opts instead to approach a woman with honesty sans all the crap, it's like a breath of fresh air. Love your blog and this post!

  • Alice X said:  

    @Terez Thank you. I'm glad you like my blog. I checked out yours and i must say it's a great change to read a relationship blog from a male perspective. I'm glad Tinzley pointed me to your blog.

  • sassyshoediary said:  

    Awesome post! Do guys seriously say lines like take a photo of you to show Santa? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

  • Anonymous said:  

    I used, "You have the most beautiful hair I have ever seen" on my wife". She turn to her friend and said "assh*le. I then offered to buy her a drink and 19 years later, I am still buying her drinks.

  • Alice X said:  

    @sassyshoediary i guess some guys do

    @Anonymous That made me smile, congrats on getting the girl! Plus 19 years, wow!

  • Pretty Unfamous said:  

    A guy I was dating for two months actually used the Santa line on me before Christmas. He was really cool, but for about two weeks before that line, I realized I was over it. I broke up with him right after he used the Santa line. I couldn't take it anymore haha.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Pretty Unfamous Oh no! Yet more proof that cheesy chat up lines should be avoided.

  • kitkat said:  

    hahahah! i hate when guys do that shit. uuurgh, it jst makes me automatically tired of the conversation.
    worst pick up line.."mama are u jewish, cos u Is-raeli hot" O_o ..i think i puked a little in my mouth,..mainly cos i jst saw the same one-liner as a facebook "like" some days ago..

  • ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.com said:  

    Your comebacks are grrrrrreat!

    I have to tell you, that Santa pickup line is worse than the one my sis received:

    Don't be scared if a fat man grabs you and puts you in a bag. I asked for you for Christmas.

    And I thought THAT was bad!

  • Alice X said:  

    @kitkat i think i just puked a little too yuk!

    @Shanimals If a fat man tried to put me in a bag i'd be less than pleased haha especially one dressed as santa, that's just creepy.

  • tamethatman said:  

    OMG, I was cracking up laughing! The best line I ever heard was, a guy ran across the street and looked at me and said "How have you been? It's me!" I promise, I took a couple of looks trying to figure out who the heck he was before he started laughing and said "I'm just playing, you don't know me" it was original, I laughed and turned and walked away but at least he made me laugh.

  • A Daft Scots Lass said:  

    Wish I could remember those cumbacks in the heat of it all. Must be something to do with the fact that when men try to pick me up I'm half-pissed and short-sighted drunk people are pathetic!

  • Alice X said:  

    @tamethatman Thank you. Hahaha yeah that one is different at least he made you laugh.

    @A daft scots lass Yeah it's never easy to think of a good comeback on the spot.

  • THUNDERCAT832 said:  

    lmfao omg!! This lines were life altering! lol

  • Alice X said:  

    @Thudercat Thanks lady!

  • unladylikebehavior.com said:  

    Oh my dear lord, I cannot stop laughing at your comebacks! Thank you for these.

    And the Santa line? PLEASE!

  • Gnetch said:  

    Hahaha. I love these!!! Especially that "out of your league" comeback.

  • Charlotte said:  

    LOL!!! There are some very witty comebacks on here I'll have to try to remember (am going out dancing tonight so fingers crossed I'm approached with one). I had a male friend in college who once dipped his fingers in a girl's drink, removed an ice cube, and threw it on the floor. Then he goes, "now that we've broken the ice... mind if I buy you a drink?" He was so charming and funny, no girl could resist (not to mention, they would prob not want to drink from that cup anymore now that he stuck his paw in).

    Great post!

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