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The Woman Translator: What She Really Means

Wednesday, 24 November 2010 Leave a Comment



Confused? Join the club, we don't even know what we mean half the time.

This one is for all those clueless males out there, the ones who just can't seem to decode our lady language. We woman folk are cryptic creatures who love nothing more than to baffle you with our double meanings, and silent fury. Fear not chaps here's some helpful hints to help you learn how to speak Woman.


Woman: "Nothing's wrong."
Translation: "You p****d me off and I'm going to freeze you out until you realise you're an insensitive beast."

Woman: "I shouldn't have to tell you. You know what you did wrong."
Translation: "I can't believe you did that, oh yeah and i got you a new bed... it's called the sofa."

Woman: "Is she prettier than me?"
Translation: "For the love of God man, just say no!!!"

Woman: "I'll just have a salad."
Translation: "I'm trying to be ladylike but guard your french fries like it's World War III, because I'm on it like Sonic when your not looking."

Woman: "I'll be down in a minute."
Translation: "I'll be down in an hour and then complain that you rushed me."

Woman: "Maybe.."
Translation: "No, nope, no way."

Woman: "I'm tired."
Translation: "I am actually tired, so stop attempting to grope me, they're attached you know."

Woman: "I don't mind, which one do you like?"
Translation: "Pick the one i like or face the wrath."

Woman: "No i don't need help."
Translation: "Yes i do need help but I'm damned if I'm going to let you know that."

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7 comments »

  • Lizzie said:  

    I am SUCH a french fry stealer. Guilty as charged, for sure.

  • Jewels said:  

    haha. loved it. thanks for the giggles.

  • sassyshoediary said:  

    Ha! Great. I laughed out loud at this post. Very true!

  • Thoughts of a Randomista said:  

    Lmao! You had me at insensitive beast!

  • P.Y.T. said:  

    when I have a boyfriend and we are at a restaurant I usually discuss what he is ordering to see if its something I like...then if I'm torn between two choice I try to convince him to order the more fattening of the two so we can "share"...this way when I eat all the fries off his plate I can remind him that we were supposed to be sharing haha

  • Alice X said:  

    @Lizzie me too, i can't resist even if i'm not that hungry.

    @Jewels thanks :)

    @sassyshoediary Yay for making you lol!

    @TOAR hahaha :D

    @P.Y.T, That's a great way to do it, strategic ordering, i like it! You're a smart woman P.Y.T.

  • Denise said:  

    I like the "they're attached" comment, it's true! And sometimes I am tired. Being this awesome takes a lot out of you.

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