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12 Crappy Christmas Gifts

Wednesday, 8 December 2010 Leave a Comment

Woman holding gift

Seriously i have never understood this song, i mean come on man, surely you can think of better gifts to give your one true love on Christmas? These are possibly the most rubbish gift ideas ever imagined, but hey it's the thought that counts isn't it?

 On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:

12 Drummers Drumming - You lucky girl you, your boyfriend gave you tinnitus for Christmas, that's so cute.

Eleven Pipers Piping - Is your boyfriend determined to make you deaf?

Ten Lords a Leaping - What?! Your boyfriend gave you 12 lords a leaping? What the fig? Conceal my envy quick.

Nine Ladies Dancing - Sounds more like a present for him than you.

Eight Maids a Milking - Is it just me or does this sound sexual? I'd be a little concerned if i came down to find 8 maids a milking under my immaculate Christmas tree, pervert!

Seven Swans a Swimming - Santa dear, i love you 'n all, but seriously you must be joking.

Six Geese a Laying - Eggs make me vomit so you can guess what i think of this nifty gift idea.

Five Golden Rings - Now that's more like it!

Four Calling Birds - I'm starting to think this guy had a thing for poultry.

Three French Hens - French, that's specific? How can you even tell if a chicken is French, huh? Work that one out genius.

Two Turtle Doves - No matter how many times i hear this it always makes me think of some mutant cross bred pigeon rat with a shell, and a love for lettuce.


and a Partridge in a Pear Tree -  WTF!!!! How the hell does one wrap a pear tree? 

Now there's a Partridge in a pear tree i do want for Christmas.

Bah Humbug!!!

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  • Lizzie said:  

    I'd take the rings and the swans. I like swans :).

  • Alice X said:  

    @Lizzie Yeah maybe your right, swans are kind of romantic aren't they? I must confess though i'm a bit scared of them. Someone told me when i was little that they could break your arm with a swoop of their wing and ever since then i've kept my distance.

  • Lilly said:  

    I'd take the rings, but I'd silently be upset that they didn't have diamonds in them. Mutant animals and sets of multiple people doing strange dances and household chores is not really my thing.

  • dating diva said:  

    Haha I would just take the rings, and maybe the pear tree but no partridge thank you very much. I'm not a fan of poultry.


  • Alpha Za said:  

    Were the swans cooked?

  • Alice X said:  

    @Lilly I'm with you i don't want human gifts!

    @Delilah ahaha well this gift list is definitely not for you, i think this guy had a poultry fetish.

    @Alpha Za My guess is no since they can still swim lol

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