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Bank-Her then Trans-fer

Thursday, 3 February 2011 Leave a Comment


Photo credit: anon from morguefile.com


So folks, I was tagged in this "tell me your life story survey", by TOAR and given topic to write an introduction on...


"Bank-Her then Trans-fer; I thought you could talk about how people in the same cliques pass around their spouses. Everybody dates everybody!"




So, the act of passing around lovers... hmmm well I'm no swinger myself, too many cooks spoil the broth and all that, but one thing I do know a lot about is soap operas. If you have ever experienced the glory of a TV soap opera, you will know how inbred these characters are. Everybody pretty much sleeps with everyone else, they're all having affairs with their cousins or whatever. So basically everybody in a soap opera is related, in some dysfunctional, Hill Billy, love orgy. If you're thinking that it doesn't happen in real life then I have two very disturbing words for you, Jeremy Kyle (or for you Americans out there, Jerry Springer), shows with titles like, Am I Your Brother? Are You My Mother? And Who Got You Pregnant? The Lodger or The Lover? Perhaps proof that love was made for sharing?!

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
I don't have any pets at the moment but I used to own a beautiful cat who used to dribble when she was happy. I also had a rabbit that died. My dad says I bathed it to death. Yes I used to give my rabbit a bath once a week, that's normal right? Anyways being too clean never killed anyone Dad!

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?
For my family and me to be safe and well. Plus I'd like to win the lottery; I know you're not supposed to materialistic but hell, without the green stuff, you've pretty much had it in this world. Besides diamonds look good on me. Me and the lottery have a love hate relationship, I say I'm going to win every week but I've been disappointed so far; this week will be different, I just know it!

3. What is the one thing you hate most?
Beans, hands down, oh and eggs, and spiders, and Hitler (what a dick), and people sneezing on me, mouth noises, nail biting and people who walk slower than my Gran! Not much really, considering.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
You'll find out next week when I win the lottery!

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Laughing! I have a huge love for humour and comedy.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
That's a tough one, loving someone can also break your heart. Being loved is a beautiful thing.

7. What is your bedtime routine?
I get changed into my PJ's, brush my teeth, wash my mask off, take my contact lenses out and put off actually going to sleep by watching crappy late night TV.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
I met him 8 years ago, wow, that's almost half my life! It doesn't actually feel like that long ago that we first met. He kept asking me out and I kept refusing, he never gave up and 8 years later we're both still together. I admire his persistence; a lesser man would have given up after a month or so.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
Myself, I'd tell me to chill the frig down before I develop one of those scary throbbing veins in my neck. I'd also like to perve on Da Vinci, what a legend, I'd love to go back in time and just watch him think up brilliant stuff, like flying machines.

10. What kinds of books do you read?
All sorts, I'm into my paranormal romance at the moment and I'm steadily plugging my way through Jayne Eyre, it's a bit of a long slog if you ask me.

11. How would you like to see yourself in ten years time?
Hopefully happy. That's all I want.

12. What’s your fear?
Spiders, burglars and psychopaths in general. 

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
No, no matter how brilliant space is, unless the moon is made of cheeseburger, I'll stick with gravity, thanks.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?
That depends, these days marriages last a day compared to yesteryear so you could still be married, poor and miserable. But hey if it's love, I'll settle for that.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Hit the snooze button, I'd like to kiss the shoes of the person who invented a pause button for alarm clocks. I love you snooze button inventor, for tricking my brain into thinking I'm getting more sleep every morning. You genius!

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?
He loves football; I hate it - go figure.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
I'd be Miss Human Being, just to see the look on people's faces when I flash my ID card.

18. Would you forgive and forget, no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
I'd like to think so, but I'd probably make them work for it.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
Six months??? You'd end up with scurvy or rickets or one of those other gross diseases you get from poor diets, but if I must choose... potatoes, they’re very versatile.

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7 comments »

  • Thank, Q said:  

    Miss Human Being, please don't forget about me when you win the lottery. I'll need start up money for my radio show. :)

  • Lynn | TOAR said:  

    LMAO, you hate Beans?! That is soo random. What did beans ever do to you?

  • Cinderita said:  

    #3 and #13 made me choke out water! I was laughing so hard. This is awesome!

  • Alice X said:  

    @Thank, Q I'll donate some to your radio efforts! I'd like to listen to your interesting take on life.

    @Lynn AKA TOAR Yes it's a hate - hate relationship. Can't stand them, the smell, the sight, the egg like shape. Gross!

    @Cinderita Thanks this made me smile when i read it, although i hope you didn't spill water on your computer, perhaps i should make a legal disclaimer!

  • Sonia said:  

    Nice, I just completed mine...!

  • Neurotic Workaholic said:  

    I've never played the lottery. I can't figure out how those lottery tickets work. I kind of have this fear that if I ask the store clerk how the tickets work that he/she might tell me the wrong answer even if the ticket actually is a winning ticket; then the clerk will run off to a foreign country with all my winnings. (I'm just a little bit paranoid.) I've been a cashier myself, so I'm not trying to say all store clerks are like that, of course. Most of them are quite nice and honest. But there was a story about a guy who was cheated out of most of his lottery winnings by a store clerk.

  • Lynn | TOAR said:  

    Lol! Wow, you did not say that they look like eggs. Haha. You should wrote about that it'll be funny!

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