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Shakespeare, thou artless dog-hearted codpiece

Monday, 21 February 2011 Leave a Comment

Shakespeare in Love

Source

SONNET 130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses
damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare. 



If I were your mistress Shakey I'd feed you to the dogs, I would! 


In all seriousness though, this is my favourite Shakespeare Sonnet. Sure his mistress smells like old cheese and she stomps around like a decrepit moose but he's like, "So what?" So she aint no Elle MacPherson and she has a head of hair to rival Medusa herself, who cares? Certainly not this playwright. He loves her, even if mirrors don't.


It might not be the most pleasing love poem ever written but it's refreshing, beautiful and honest, what more could a woman ask for? However, it does leave me wondering what he might say if she turned to him and asked, “Does my bum look big in this tunic?”


Shakespeare, I love you.

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4 comments »

  • Jewels said:  

    hahaha. Thanks for sharing this and your take on it. I got a good giggle out of it.

  • Neurotic Workaholic said:  

    Haha, he'd probably say, "Yes, but I love you anyway," which still wouldn't be the answer most women would want to hear. But that sonnet is a good one. I wish more guys were like that, and not like the guy whose online dating profile I read recently; he actually specified that he only wanted to date girls with nice rear ends.

  • Denise said:  

    I have never read this before... but you're completely right. It's real, and that's far more beautiful than a bunch of lies that sound pretty when thrown together.

    I am not in love... yet, but the guy I am seeing is pretty awesome. I know that there are sexier man, and smarter, and whatever else,but I like him because he is him. And it doesn't matter what else is out there, that's not what I want.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Jewels Thanks, I'm glad i made you laugh!

    @Neurotic Workaholic I bet that guy doesn't get many dates!

    @DeniseYour comment made me smile :) Looks shouldn't matter.

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