Die Duck Face, Die!
Photo credit: hotblack from morguefile.com
Do you want to look sexy? Want everyone to see what a sexy face you have? Want your lips to look 'Oh So Kissable'?
Then for the love of all that is sane and reasonable, don't do the duck face. Unless of course you want your mouth to look like an inflatable dingy. Seriously girls? WTF?
Seeing self taken, narcissistic photos of your meffed up mug doing the duck face makes me want to hit you. Repeatedly. In the face. Then you'd have permanent fish lips.
OK, so maybe that's a bit harsh, but back in my day when someone said cheese, we smiled. We did not scrunch our faces up and unleash the worst of all porno expressions. It doesn't look good. At all!
If i see another trout pout whilst stalking random people's pictures on Facebook - yes i like nosing at pictures of random people on Facebook, it's no biggie; everyone does it - i swear to Buddha, I'll write to Zuckerberg himself. It will go a little something like this:
As conqueror of all that is
privacy infringement social networking, please eradicate all the duck face photos from your entire network with one of your super techy gadgets.
A very concerned citizen (with normal sized lips).
And don't even get me started on that awkward moment when you see a dear, intoxicated friend, (who is normally very respectable), doing the duck face. Oh the shame!
If you are still tempted by the allure of the duck face here's how to get maximum impact:
Step 1: Wear white lipstick. Any shade that makes you look like a dead person is a winner.
Step 2: Holy shit cake! Who ate Uncle Fester?
Always wear eyeshadow, preferably colours like black. When it comes to eyeshadow, remember, enough is never too much! Cake it on with a shovel. I like to use one of these...
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