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Die Duck Face, Die!

Tuesday, 13 September 2011 Leave a Comment

Photo credit: hotblack from morguefile.com

Do you want to look sexy? Want everyone to see what a sexy face you have? Want your lips to look 'Oh So Kissable'?

Then for the love of all that is sane and reasonable, don't do the duck face. Unless of course you want your mouth to look like an inflatable dingy. Seriously girls? WTF?

Seeing self taken, narcissistic photos of your meffed up mug doing the duck face makes me want to hit you. Repeatedly. In the face. Then you'd have permanent fish lips.

OK, so maybe that's a bit harsh, but back in my day when someone said cheese, we smiled. We did not scrunch our faces up and unleash the worst of all porno expressions. It doesn't look good. At all!

If i see another trout pout whilst stalking random people's pictures on Facebook - yes i like nosing at pictures of random people on Facebook, it's no biggie; everyone does it - i swear to Buddha, I'll write to Zuckerberg himself. It will go a little something like this:

Dear Zuckerface,

As conqueror of all that is privacy infringement social networking, please eradicate all the duck face photos from your entire network with one of your super techy gadgets.

Yours Sincerely
A very concerned citizen (with normal sized lips).

And don't even get me started on that awkward moment when you see a dear, intoxicated friend, (who is normally very respectable), doing the duck face. Oh the shame!

If you are still tempted by the allure of the duck face here's how to get maximum impact:

Step 1: Wear white lipstick. Any shade that makes you look like a dead person is a winner.
 matching your lipstick to your hair color is rarely a wise choice, ladies.
Image source

Step 2: Holy shit cake! Who ate Uncle Fester?

holy. fucking. shit.
Image source

Always wear eyeshadow, preferably colours like black. When it comes to eyeshadow, remember, enough is never too much! Cake it on with a shovel. I like to use one of these...

Image Source by Black Country Museums

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  • bwcmf said:  

    So much excitement over this post I can't gets the words to order themselves in a sensible manner to share!

  • Jewels said:  

    Holy Shit Cake is my new favorite phrase! hahaha. Those are terrifying pictures and I can honestly say that I don't think I have ever duck faced. It's just not attractive! It is an epidemic though and needs to be stopped. Lovely PSA

  • kitkat said:  

    hahaha i'm guilty of pouting in almost all my pics :|

  • Yaya said:  

    Ha! Love this post! Keep up the good work.

  • A Daft Scots Lass said:  

    Hysterical. Fake tan and bleach blonde hair are the ultimate duck face canvas.

  • Barsola said:  

    Apparently it is also done to make one look like they have cheek bones that are always that prominent... Whatevs. I hate Duck Face. Watch the song and video dedicated to Duck Face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUn9828LtxA

    With lyrics like, "I don't know how this got started but all you dumb bitches look fucking retarded" you know it's a classic! "It's not beautiful, it's fucking horrible, so take your lips and put them back to normal!"

  • Thank, Q said:  

    LMAO! This is great! Duck face photos are funny. I'm not sure where they started, but I'm pretty sure that Snooki had something to do with it. Great post!

  • melissa said:  

    Glad to know I am not the only one offended by the duck faces.

  • Alice X said:  

    @All I'm glad i'm not alone in my loathing of this trend.

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