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Perhaps you should embroider a red A on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp.

Saturday, 26 November 2011 Leave a Comment

Last night Stacy slept with a guy she met at a bar. It's the fifth guy she's had sex with in two weeks. All of them gorgeous, all of them one night stands. If you were at that bar last night you couldn't have missed her, she's really pretty. Stacy was sat alone at the end of the bar wearing a short skirt and a low cut top, stroking the stem of her cocktail glass whilst flirting with the barman. Stacy sleeps around, it's no secret. Everyone knows. Stacy's is a bit of a ____________. [Fill the blank]

What word came to mind at the end of reading that? Be honest. Let's try reading it again but this time it's slightly different.

Last night Jon slept with a woman he met at a bar. It's the fifth woman he's had sex with in eight days. All of them gorgeous, all of them one night stands. If you were at that bar last night you couldn't have missed him, he's really good looking. Jon was sat alone at the end of the bar wearing slim fitted jeans and a shirt that clung to his muscles, sipping a JD whilst flirting with the waitress. Jon sleeps around, it's no secret. Everyone knows. Jon's a bit of a ____________. [Fill the blank]

What word popped in your head this time? Was there a difference between your reaction to the first and the second story?
File:Easy a australian.jpg
I watched Easy A last night — a film based on the themes in the book The Scarlet Letter  and it got me thinking. There is and i guess always has been a double standard when it comes to promiscuity. While the majority of today's society prides itself on open mindedness and an ever growing tolerance for what could previously have been considered inappropriate, still there exists a double standard when it comes down to the sexual exploits of males and females.

Men, and excuse me for generalising here, are often praised, glorified even, by other men if they sleep with lots of women. A man can be a complete whore, bed as many women as he likes, brag about it to his friends and will most likely receive pats on the back and gain more respect from other males for doing so. He's now 'The Man'. If a woman were to do the same, she too would gain a reputation but unlike her male counterpart would be less respected, being labelled a skank/slut/tramp/easy. Is that fair? I think not.

There have been some attempts to break down this unfair labelling; shows such as SATC did a fairly good job, but still, in the real word, people gossip, bitch and spread rumours.

Now this is where it gets interesting. I used to be of the opinion that it was mostly men who label women sluts for sleeping around and whilst a small minority might *insert crude rap lyrics here* after thinking about it, i don't think men are the culprits. It's other women. Unfortunately for society, a lot of women/girls judge each other, bitch about one another and some even take comfort in tearing others down. These self righteous women are the ones spreading the rumours and labelling fellow females as sluts. Whilst i myself wouldn't choose to sleep around, I'm not going to go around bitching about other women who do. It's their choice and quite frankly, none of my business. So to quote the wise words of Mean Girls:

"You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores."

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  • Not the Hero said:  

    Honestly, it is ONLY women and anal retentive men that call women sluts. If there is a woman that sleeps around, normal guys won't insult her, they will want to sleep with her.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Not the Hero I agree that it is mostly women, they can be vicious! Totally agree with you.

  • Lost.in.Idaho said:  

    I'll echo his statement. And also point out that a lot of the stigmas from the 80's and 90's are fading with time. Terms like Friends With Benefits is making casual sex not only acceptable, but somewhat trendy.

    I have only had two partners. I have moved from one long term relationship to another. Not because I don't relish the idea of being a man-whore, but because that's how it happened. If I were single, would I have lots and lots of casual sex? Probably. But only because all the other cool kids are doing it...

  • ms.composure said:  

    hmmm yea i would say this is still somewhat of a prob. i recently graduated and i have several gal pals who "had fun" and if the word got out they def got ppl saying things like that...but not really thinking anything neg about the guys...it will eventually not be as bad it will just take time



  • melissa said:  

    I will be blunt...I will think they are a tad slutty for girl/ skeeze for a dude. I won't say it out loud. My thoughts are my thoughts. I have a right to think what I want. But the second that thought leaves my mouth then all I am is a bully and a douchebag for not knowing when to keep my mouth shut. It's fine to think it...but not cool to put them down as a person.

    I definately don't judge them...considering I married a guy who has had his share

  • Neurotic Workaholic said:  

    Your post made me think of the movie Crazy, Stupid Love, where Ryan Gosling's character is a total womanizer who is with a different woman every night. In that movie, he's not portrayed in a negative way; instead he's viewed as a stud who is supposed to "teach" Steve Carell's character, who is viewed as a loser because he's only been with one woman his whole life.
    It's weird because it's viewed as a bad thing if people date/sleep with a lot of people, but then it's also sometimes viewed as a bad thing if people haven't dated/slept with a lot of people.

  • Kiss said:  

    There will always be a double-standard and there will always be a stigma plastered over promiscuous women: they are sluuuuuts. No matter what. And in the eyes (through words or just thoughts) of many others (both males and females), their judgmental entitlement will act as a cheap validation of their own shitty actions in the end.

    Everyone's had their share of partners; everyone's free to do whatever and whoever they want. It is still a free country after all. People need to turn their scanners within.

  • Alice X said:  

    @Lost.in.Idaho I agree that the stigma has lessened over the years, however it does still exist. I have witnessed women saying these kinds of things first hand, especially girls in high school where it seems commonplace.

    @ms.composure You're right, the stigma still exists, though i do pertly agree with Idaho in the fact that it is less of an issue than say it might have been back in the 1970s. I hope one day it will be obsolete. I also think that women see it go more because they are around circles of other women who do judge.

    @melissa You have the right to believe/think whatever you want and i agree with the saying, 'If you can't say anything nice. Don't say anything at all.' But i don't thinks it's right to form conclusions on people based merely on their sexual exploits.

    @Neurotic Workaholic Yes! I watched that film too and he was conveyed as a stud, i can't help thinking that if that character had been a women it would have been portrayed quite differently.

    @Kiss 'People need to turn their scanners within.' I couldn't have said it any better than that! So very true. Although i do secretly hold out hope that in the future the stigma will cease to exist but maybe i'm naive.

  • Taylor said:  

    I'll have a guest post coming your way a little later tomorrow. To comment on this post though, I am actually the exact opposite.

    I have a few girls that are friends, and they all complain to me how guys always try to get in their pants. I think to myself, "What is the purpose?" A one night stand... At the day, a one night stand will not make you happy.

    So to answer the question; I filled in the blanks with the word "wh*re" for both the man and the woman. I guess my way of thinking is a little different than other guys

  • Alice X said:  

    @Taylor I completely agree with the one night stand. Is it worth it? I don't know because i haven't ever had one but i agree that at the end of the day it's most probably not worth it. I like the fact that you answered exactly the same to both stories, at least you don't discriminate!

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