Gaston, He's Roughly The Size of a Barge
Everybody sing now:
Bonjour my pretties. Today i bring you the one and only Gaston, the most manly fictional character to ever stomp onto Disney's screen. He's what i like to call, a true man beast. Pure unfiltered male with a jaw so big, it could plough through snow!
Sure he is ignorant, rude, conceited and uses antlers in all of his decorating but that's what makes him charismatic. With Gaston, what you see is what you get. He's like five men packed into one huge, hairy shell; plus you could crack walnuts on that bum chin of his. You never can tell, maybe deep down he's a swell guy? Who knows? One thing's for sure, Beauty and the Beast wouldn't have been the same without him.
"No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's. As a specimen yes he's intimidating... My what a guy, that Gaston!"
Let's raise our french sticks to Gaston, one of few men whose muscles are larger than his head.
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