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Diet Coke: I Just Wanna Make Love to You

Thursday, 29 September 2011 6 comments

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I don't care about the aspartame, or the scientists who say "don't consume anything that tastes nice or you will die a slow and painful death". I will never stop drinking the fizzy stuff. I just love Diet Coke, but what i don't love, is their new ad campaign.

Before i show you their new advert, i want you to be able to see it in the context that i first saw it. So first, view the old adverts below. Trust me when i say they're delicious, (and I'm not just talking about the Coke!) Try your best to ignore the appalling fashion, bad perms and horrendous face furniture and concentrate on the Diet Coke drinking, hunk of hot man flesh.

If nothing else, these adverts convey a clever twist on the whole lecherous builder stereotype. Instead of the builder wolf whistling at anything in a dress, it's the women who are doing the leching. Superb!

Diet Coke's new advert on the other hand, contains puppets. Creepy puppets! Maybe I'm just weird, but anything remotely ventriloquist like scares the living bejeebers out of me. But what really annoys me about these adverts is that they're not just any creepy puppets, but vapid, female, creepy puppets. Unlike the Diet Coke adverts of yesteryear, this ad campaign does nothing for the female image, unless of course women are empowered by shaking their bootay's for a can of fizzy brown liquid. Not cool Diet Coke. Not cool!

It might have been a great campaign if it wasn't superseding the ability to perv at sexy shirtless men. Call me a lech, but bring back the meat!

Join me in my quest to bring back the 11:30 Diet Perv Coke break. The comments section is my mock petition so sign away ladies and don't forget to vote for me to win the Cosmo Blog Awards, Sex & Relationship category. I need your help people!

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Love Monkey's Tips for Guys: Advice on how to kiss a woman

Tuesday, 27 September 2011 1 comments

Before you read don't forget to vote for me to win the Cosmo Blog Awards 2011 in the Sex & Relationship category here. I need all the help i can get! Thanks to everyone who has voted so far.

Do you remember, a few months back, when i told you i visited a Love Monkey and guest posted about How not to pick up women in nightclubs? Well it's their turn to visit Guys Boys & Men today and they've been kind enough to leave a lovely guest post for you all.  Enjoy!

Image provided by Lovemonkey.net

Whether young or old, it can be said that men of all ages do not know how to kiss a woman. Guys I feel for you. If you want to know the best way to kiss a girl, the best piece of dating advice you can get is to learn what NOT to do.

If you are a bad kisser, you are in for a regretful time. You can be the most successful or the best looking but if you suck at kissing, there is always going to something missing. In addition, you may not ever meet the woman honest enough to tell you, so better to ensure you know what you are doing before the act.

Number one on the list is to remember that you are kissing a girl and not eating an ice cream cone. Pouncing on a woman can really be a sign that it's late, she has to get up early. No one wants to be pounced on. It is not a quest for attack and this is the wrong combat mode to count on when you want to leave a great impression as a kisser. Take your time and ease into it. Start off with soft pecks on the lips and slowly intensify the kisses. Make her want more!

Another downer is having hard lips. You are eliciting an emotional response from the other person. Make sure your lips are not dry and gross. Wet your lips a little or make sure you used chap stick earlier in the day. Also, relax and don't go in for the kill. Keep your lips puckered but not too loose as this is a turn off as well. A soft pucker will get you far. Not too hard and not too soft.

The best piece of dating advice (when it comes to kissing) is the prelude to the kiss. This is the moment  when the girl wants nothing more than to kiss you. This happens from emotion. You can lead up to the perfect kiss by setting up the perfect moment. The date has to be going well of course, but do a little flirting and get her thinking about a possible kiss. Spark her curiousity! Be patient…this takes more than five minutes of your time.

A kiss on the lips is one of the most personal things a girl can offer. It is a giving of self. It is sensual and not sexual. The sense of wanting to kiss you is from the heart. The sensual can lead to sexual but it starts on the sensual side as she responds to you and the kiss itself. Remember not to be in attack mode yet, be in a response mode. Chewing gum and blowing bubbles is a good way to practice mouth exercises in learning to kiss. It loosens up the mouth and uses the same muscles. Good luck Love Monkies!

Drake | Love Monkey | Dating Advice for Men

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Cosmo Blog Awards: I can't believe I'm saying this but...

Tuesday, 20 September 2011 10 comments

...Guys Boys & Men got shortlisted for best Sex & Relationship Blog in the Cosmo blog awards 2011. I never in a million years thought I'd be shortlisted and it's all thanks to you guys! All of you. Without you, there would be no Guys Boys & Men. Thanks to all who nominated me. Now scroll down to see how you can vote for me to win!

A special thank you to these folks who told me they nominated me. Go read their blogs after you've voted:

Shannimal Crackers
and Drake who did not nominate but did back my corner.

I found out at 10:45 last night and was so excited that i almost woke the whole neighbourhood by screeching like a banshee. It went down a bit like this...

I can't tell you how much this meant, to see my blog up there amongst some of the best blogs in my niche. But the hard work isn't over just yet. Now i need all the votes i can get to actually win! So please, please, please vote for me (or any other blog you might like) in the Sex & Relationships category.

All you have to do is click here, enter your email address and click continue.
You'll be taken to this screen:

Click on Sex & Relationships

Then click on Guys Boys & Men until you see the green tick. That's it!

Go do it and let me know in the comments so i can give you some blog love.

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Die Duck Face, Die!

Tuesday, 13 September 2011 9 comments

Photo credit: hotblack from morguefile.com

Do you want to look sexy? Want everyone to see what a sexy face you have? Want your lips to look 'Oh So Kissable'?

Then for the love of all that is sane and reasonable, don't do the duck face. Unless of course you want your mouth to look like an inflatable dingy. Seriously girls? WTF?

Seeing self taken, narcissistic photos of your meffed up mug doing the duck face makes me want to hit you. Repeatedly. In the face. Then you'd have permanent fish lips.

OK, so maybe that's a bit harsh, but back in my day when someone said cheese, we smiled. We did not scrunch our faces up and unleash the worst of all porno expressions. It doesn't look good. At all!

If i see another trout pout whilst stalking random people's pictures on Facebook - yes i like nosing at pictures of random people on Facebook, it's no biggie; everyone does it - i swear to Buddha, I'll write to Zuckerberg himself. It will go a little something like this:

Dear Zuckerface,

As conqueror of all that is privacy infringement social networking, please eradicate all the duck face photos from your entire network with one of your super techy gadgets.

Yours Sincerely
A very concerned citizen (with normal sized lips).

And don't even get me started on that awkward moment when you see a dear, intoxicated friend, (who is normally very respectable), doing the duck face. Oh the shame!

If you are still tempted by the allure of the duck face here's how to get maximum impact:

Step 1: Wear white lipstick. Any shade that makes you look like a dead person is a winner.
 matching your lipstick to your hair color is rarely a wise choice, ladies.
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Step 2: Holy shit cake! Who ate Uncle Fester?

holy. fucking. shit.
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Always wear eyeshadow, preferably colours like black. When it comes to eyeshadow, remember, enough is never too much! Cake it on with a shovel. I like to use one of these...

Image Source by Black Country Museums

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Severus is The Sex

Sunday, 4 September 2011 5 comments

Alan Rickman is famous for playing the bad guy, the anti hero, the rogue. Among all the sexy men in this world, Alan steals the award for having serious sex appeal.

Alan beats the crap out of the six pack. Why? Because he's sexy in another way; he's smart. He doesn't need abs of steel and a beach tan to be attractive. He's the dark, sarcastic, and unbelievably witty Englishman, whose voice was built to make panties drop. Alan Rickman proves that age is just a number.

Not only does he play an incredible, (all be it slightly camp) bad boy, he's also an amazing actor, guaranteed to steel the show!

Alan 'The Voice' Rickman is a bad, bad man... and i like it!

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And the winner of the Mitchum's Love Thy Pits Competition is...

Thursday, 1 September 2011 0 comments

Photo credit: clarita from morguefile.com

Firstly thank you for entering. Reading your sticky dating situations was really entertaining!
All of the entries were really good and all deserving of the prize. I simply couldn't choose between you, so i used Random.org to generate a random number between 1 and 4.

I assigned you each a number according to the order you commented on the post:

1 = KitKat
2 = Gina
3 = Stephanie
4 = Lizzie Bennet

And the winner is...


So KitKat, you will never have to sweat through another date again because you not only won the $75 spa voucher but you also get a free stick of Mitchum's deodorant. Please email me at theboyfrienddrama@hotmail.com with your email address so i can arrange your prize!

Thank you to everyone who entered and you all deserve medal for the disastrous dates you've endured.

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