Guy's opinion: How to tell if a guy is just using you?
Photo credit: elvissa from flickr.com
It's an honor to be writing a guest post here at Guys, Boys & Men. I would like to thank Alice X for allowing me to share some great information with you here on this fine blog of hers.
A lot of you ladies may have a guy that you would really like to go out with, but no matter what you do, you can't figure him out. His thoughts are always contradicting his actions.
So how do you know if a guy is just using you?
Below, I am going to share text conversation that I had with one of my friends. Read through the texts, and see if your guy has any similarities to the guy described in the texts below.
After you read through the texts, be sure to checkout the key points below them to see if your guy is showing you any red flags!
Me: Are you caught up on an ex?
Girl: Well, not really an ex. I had a thing with a guy and tried really hard to be his girlfriend and to make a long story short, it has not worked. I hadn't seen him for a long time until last night and I don't know... He acts one way, but says another. It's just confusing. The whole time I keep wondering why I am not good enough, you know?
Me: You are good enough. I am a good judge of character. If he can't see that, be with someone who actually will. As for him acting one way and saying something that contradicts how he acts, I am guessing that he is cool with the physical hugs, kisses, etc, but not with the emotional stuff. He does not want a relationship, but he likes to cuddle and kiss. I may be way off, but in general, that sums up a lot of guys our age.
Girl: Yeah. He says he likes me and he cares, but he doesn't know if he wants to be in a relationship. I don't know what it is. I just need a guy that will appreciate me.
Me: For sure. So you can just go with the flow on this guy, forget about him, or tell him exactly what you are telling me. In my experience, not knowing is the worst. You're an attractive girl and he needs to realise that you have other options... Also known as guys that will actually be straight with you and treat you right.
Girl: Well, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better because I wasn't sure if I should try harder, or if I did something wrong.
Me: Well, I am not there so I don't know the full story, but if he knows you like him, he probably just does not want to commit to anything. Does he just want to chill with you randomly, and at late hours?
Girl: Well, yeah. He would come over and hang out with me, and he would stay the night, but I only see him once a week. Sometimes he says he will come over, and then he never shows up.
Me: Have you seen the movie White Chicks?
Girl: Yes. Why?
Me: OK. Remember that one dude, Keith, I think? He would want to chill with that blonde whenever it was convenient for him. Finally, she told him that she was not his doormat. This guy just wants you whenever he feels like having you... That's what it sounds like. You deserve better. He is not worth your time.
Girl: Awww! Well, I am glad you think so. That is really sweet! Thanks. :)
Me: No problem. :)
Red Flags to Lookout For!
- If a guy wants to be with you, he will usually tell you. It's too hard to keep things like wanting to be with you all bottled up. Eventually, he will tell you.
- If a guy wants to chill with you whenever it is convenient for him, especially during late hours, there's a good chance that if you're giving him satisfaction, then he is simply using you for that, and that only.
- If a guy contradicts himself by showing physical interest, but ignoring the possibility at being in a relationship with you, then he is definitely using you.