Understanding men is like trying to understand algebra, useless and pointless. They think in totally different way to us women. Well help is here ladies in the form of my Man Translator! Below are some common phrases often uttered by the male species, and what he really means when he says “I love you” on the second date…
Man: “Yes i am listening.”
Translation: I haven’t heard a word you just said, but I’m going to bluff my way through by nodding and grunting.
Man: “Your being unreasonable.”
Translation: Why are you acting like a crazy person?
Man: “I’m not like other guys.”
Translation: I am exactly like other guys.
Man: “I love you.”
Translation: My penis loves you.
Man: “I won’t come home drunk, I’m only having a couple beers.”
Translation: I’ll be home at 2:00am, trip over the cat and pee in the plant pot because i can’t make it to the toilet.
Man: “I’m not ready for a long term relationship.”
Translation: I’m a commitment phobe who wants a booty call.
Man: “I know exactly where we are.”
Translation: We’re lost.
Man: “Its only a scratch.”
Translation: ARGHHHHHH my f****** arm is falling off.
Man: “I’m dying.”
Translation: I have a cold.
Man: “Its a guy thing.”
Translation: No women allowed.
Man: “Tell me more about your friend Tom.”
Translation: Have you slept with him?
Man: “I only have eyes for you.”
Translation: I check out other women, but only when you’re not looking.